The cooler heads in the Democratic Party will now anesthetize Hillary, then euthanize her campaign like they did that poor horse in last week’s Kentucky Derby.
In case you're from Branson, it’s over.  Obama has won. Hillary has lost … as fair and as square as democrats can be which if you’re from Florida or Michigan ain’t saying much. 

There is no “I” in team

Yep, Bubba has left the campaign trail. There was a walk-off double in the bottom of the ninth. The fish is on the hook. Elvis has left the building.
Most important; the pantsuit lady is about to sing.
Here’s Hillary singing the Leslie Gore (not related to Al) ’60s classic “It’s My Party” ...

Nobody knows where my mojo has gone.
Barack has left the same time.
Why was he holding super-delegate’s hands?
When they’re supposed to be mine?

It was my party and I’ll cry if I want to,  
Cry if I want to, cry if I want to.
You would cry too, if it happened to you!

Giving speeches, campaigning all night,
Leave me alone for a while.
’till Obama’s dancing with me,
I’ve got no reason to smile.

It was my party and I’ll cry if I want to,
Cry if I want to, cry if I want to.
You would cry too, if it happened to you!

Bill and Barack just walked through the door,
A redneck and his new king,
Oh what a campaign surprise.
Bill is now his VP

It was my party and I’ll cry if I want to,
Cry if I want to, cry if I want to.
You would cry too, if it happened to you!

Just kidding.  The Dems have driven me to music … again.

Never fool with a liar or lie with a fool

Once the Dems have dragged Hillary kicking and screaming away from the campaign trail, will Obama offer the vice presidency to the Clintons and will they accept? The pressure on him to offer Billary the second spot will be overwhelming and downright threatening. Why? Because it’s “politically correct.” Can we get a hallelujah from those living prophets, Carter and McGovern?
Both have negatives in the high 40s and Obama is waning in the heads-up polls against McCain, despite his recent victory in N.C. and his much tighter than expected loss in Indiana.
Hillary’s performance, while idiotic via cheap and contradictory campaign promises, was much more relaxed. She has let loose a pixiesque sense of humor, jarring with O’Reilly and claiming unrequited love from that Limbaugh guy. 
She was downright flirtatious. I’m going ask her for a referral to her therapist. 
I think Billary’s answer to Obama will be a double yes, it being the only chance for them to regain some semblance of legacy they so much need. 
From Obama’s end, he’ll be convinced beyond his bad judgment that the Clintons will save the white voters from panicking due to his Reverend Wrong debacle. They’ll especially need those pale males now clinging to their guns and religion in small towns throughout the ignorant American plains. 

There’ll be a lot of testosterone on the ticket. Too bad none of its Barack’s

OK, so that puts them jiggy with blacks, poor white men, and lots and lots of bitter women.
It’ll be the most liberal ticket in history, one that will have terrorists beaming in every cell in the world and caves throughout the Mid East.
They’ll be up against John McCain’s semi-con Mr. Nice Guy campaign and whoever he assigns to keep the base.

I grew up on a crocodile farm. I was an only child … eventually

One tip for Obama. Should he by some miracle win this fall, I’d request some extra secret service protection, starting with the goings on in the VP residence.
Rolla resident Dave Weinbaum is a regular contributor of one-liners and commentaries to many regional and national publications and web sites, including the Reader’s Digest, National Enquirer and Forbes and is a regular pundit for the www.jewishworldreview.com. Readers can reach Dave at dwquote@prodigy.net